Just Saying...

Just Saying...

Feeling Torn

Posted: 15 Apr 2012 04:24 PM PDT

How can I possibly be torn over the fact he chose the wrong woman to marry, even knowing he's never be faithful and won't been. I tell myself better her than me, and yet I still find myself pouting a little that I didn't have what it took for him to choose me for life.  How fucked up is that? It doesn't help the recent cluster of exchange of messages of how much we're going to miss each other etc, and all the sweet loving things people who care about each other say to one another. 

I'm in a funk today. Flattered, he'd call me during and after his bachelor party, and yet still feel like it was some sort of dig at the same time. He chose the wrong woman, and I told him so. Closure? Pathetic?

The part that doesn't make me any better than him... I too am dating someone. Too soon to write about the details here, cos I don't want to jinx it. Make it known that I have the green light from all my girlfriends he dated before me. Even though it was many years ago, once you've dated my friends, you're off limits, forever. Funny enough, they are my biggest cheerleaders about the whole thing. LC even saying she'll be hugely surprised if this doesn't work out. Weird. My Mum also had a sweet spot for this person when we were younger. My Aunt, is already planning my wedding. (slow down) Funny how things turn out.

While people around me have been moving forward with their lives, I've been holding onto any, and all of my past, since my parents passed away. Result, I've missed out on a lot of life.

Feeling a little sorry for myself today. Hopefully this too shall pass.